Ted Thompson Goes Mostly In For Super Bowl

Ted Thompson didn’t quite look like himself this offseason, signing free agents to come in and compete for starting jobs like Davon House, Jahri Evans, ad Martellus Bennett (after trying to lowball Jared Cook, of course).

So does this mean Ted Thompson is all in for the Super Bowl this year?

PFTW scored an exclusive interview with Ted Thompson and asked him just that.

“All in?” Thompson stared vacantly into space. “Well that just doesn’t sound responsible.”

Asked to elaborate Thompson continued.

“Well, what if we don’t win? I don’t know if my pride could handle trying to win the Super Bowl and not making it.”

Thompson then admitted “I don’t quite think this is our year – so why would I look for one more piece to put us over the top?”

We asked Thompson what was different in the last Super Bowl season, the one people always say “except that year” when talking about what a poor GM Thompson is.

“In 2010, I knew it was going to happen, so I made sure to load up on big name free agents like Charlie Peprah and… uh… I don’t know who else we signed that year, but I had to do it because – Graham Harrell! That was the other guy we signed in 2010. Graham Harrell. I knew we were just one Graham Harrell away from winning it all, so I went out and got him from the Saskatchewan Roughriders.”

So we asked Ted if there might be a similar move this year.

“Well, I signed Bennett, House, Evans, Francois, Kendricks, but I don’t think this is our year, so I didn’t sign anyone of the magnitude of Graham Harrell. I just don’t want to win the Super Bowl this year. I hate our fans, they always make fun of me – they don’t deserve another Super Bowl. Besides, Mark Murphy won’t fire me because of the pictures I have of him in compromising situations.” After nodding in self satisfaction, Thompson added “You can all go to hell.”

When asked about Aaron Rodgers’s prime, Thompson said he was comfortable wasting it on a lot of division titles and overtime losses in the playoffs. He said he tries to find the difficult balance between fielding a team good enough to win the division but not so good as to win the Super Bowl.

Not signing free agents figures heavily into that.

“Many people don’t know this,” Thompson said at the conclusion of the interview, “but I get to keep all our unused cap space.”

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