Bears Fan: So you really think LaFleur can do it?
Packers Fan: I think so, that and Rodgers getting healthy again.
Patriots Fan: There you go again making excuses for your sorry quarterback!
Packers Fan: What? Where did you even come from?
Patriots Fan 2: You never stop talking about us!
Bears Fan: But, we weren’t ta-
Patriots Fan: Yeah, rent free!
Packers Fan: But I was just talking about my quarterback
Patriots Fan: Yeah, your gay quarterback! *high fives Patriots Fan 2*
Packers Fan: I don’t think he’s really gay, that rumor started when-
Patriots Fan 2: He’s gay – I read it on the internet!
Bears Fan: So, why would that even matter?
Patriots Fan: It doesn’t matter!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, cause Brady is the GOAT!
Patriots Fan: No discussion!
Packers Fan: Why would he be the GOAT? Look at this Rodgers highlight film – Brady can’t do any of that.
Patriots Fan: Yeah, whatever, running around like an idiot and throwing a bunch pretty passes into tight windows don’t mean nothing!
Packers Fan: But throwing the football is the quarterbacks’ job.
Patriots Fan 2: No it’s not, winning is!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, and no one does it more than the Patriots – uh, I mean Tom Brady!
Packers Fan: Yeah, but they play in the AFC East.
Patriots Fan: The AFC East is tough!
Bears Fan: They’ve only had two wild card teams in the last 8 years?
Patriots Fan: Yeah, that’s because we beat them all!
Bears Fan: But you only play them twice a yea-
Patriots Fan 2: Shut up, hater!
Patriots Fan: Yeah, hater! Patriots are the best of all-time no team has ever done this! Tom Brady’s the GOAT!
Packers Fan: So you think Brady is better than Rodgers because he wins more?
Patriots Fan: Yeah, Brady’s a winner – your stupid quarterback only has one ring!
Bears Fan: Winning is a team achievement, there’s-
Patriots Fan 2: Shut up, Trubisky sucks!
Patriots Fan: Yeah, Brady has the rings to prove he’s the best!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, ringsz! Cry!
Bears Fan: That doesn’t make sense, though. Super Bowl wins are team achievements, every game has over 100 players and dozens of coaches in-
Patriots Fan 2: Nope, it’s just one guy – Tom Brady!
Bears Fan: But he had the number 1 or 2 defense for-
Patriots Fan: Yup, championships are what matter – and no one has as many as Tom!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, great quarterbacks rise to the occasion – Brady proves it every time!
Packers Fan: What about the times he lost?
Patriots Fan: You’re so stupid.
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah! You’re so stupid, he’s still been to more championships than anyone else of all time!
Browns Fan: Well what about Otto Graham? He went to like 10 straight championship games.
Patriots Fan: That doesn’t count, the Patriots didn’t even have a team then!
Browns Fan: So “all time” only includes the time since the Patriots were founded?
Patriots Fan: It’s about Super Bowls, dummy, we won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years – that makes Brady the GOAT!
Cowboys Fan: We won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, too – does that make Aikman GOAT, too?
Patriots Fan 2: No, they had Emmitt Smith!
Cowboys Fan: The Patriots had James White the last time the Patriots won, he set a record for most points scored, he had 3 rushing touchdown, including the game winner.
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, because of Brady!
Cowboys Fan: So the running backs are good because of the quarterback?
Patriots Fan: Well duh!
Cowboys Fan: Then wouldn’t that mean that Emmitt Smith was only good because of Troy Aikman? Wouldn’t Aikman then be the reason they won three championships in four years?
Patriots Fan 2: No! Just shut up, that doesn’t prove anything! Brady is going to his third championship in a row!
Bills Fan: Jim Kelly went to four in a row.
Patriots Fan: Yeah, but he didn’t win any!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, Jim Kelly sucks, fanboy! The Patriots are the best and it’s all Tom Brady – he carries the franchise and no other team has ever done what they’ve done!
Bills Fan: But y-
Patriots Fan: Yeah, back to back titles! That’s the best – no team has ever won three championships in a row!
Packers Fan: What are you talking about? The Packers won 3 championships in a row, they actually did it twice, that probab-
Patriots Fan: That doesn’t count, they weren’t Super Bowls!
Packers Fan: Well the last two were.
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah, but they weren’t all Super Bowls so it doesn’t count!
Packers Fan: So when you say “all time,” you really just mean “Super Bowl era”?
Patriots Fan: That is all time, moron!
Bears Fan: No it’s not, the NFL started like 40 years before th-
Patriots Fan: The Super Bowl era is all that matters – you were playing against farmers and dentists and the rules were different and it was a lot easier to win!
Packers Fan: Then why didn’t Patriots win all those titles?
Patriots Fan 2: Shut up, you took like 50 years to win 4 Super Bowls!
Steelers Fan: Well we won 4 Super Bowls in 6 years, that should count for something, right?
Patriots Fan: No, we won 5 Super Bowls! That’s an amazing run for 17 years – no one else ever did that!
49ers Fan: Actually, we won 5 in 13 years.
Patriots Fan: Yeah but you used two quarterbacks! Brady has been the only constant in the Patriots success!
49ers Fan: What about Bill Belichick? He’s been there for all the winning, too. Some people say he’s the best coach of all t-
Patriots Fan 2: No, Brady did it all by himself!
49ers Fan: What about when Malcolm Butl-
Patriots Fan: Malcolm Butler sucks! He was inspired to win by Tom Brady!
Patriots Fan 2: Yeah! Brady did it all by himself!
49ers Fan: All by himself? Really?
Patriots Fan: Yeah! And he never, ever cheated!