Game Review: Lions – 2018 Week 17

What a disgusting pathetic end to a disgusting pathetic season. And of course, it would be the first sweep at the hands of the disgusting pathetic Lions in almost 30 years and their first shutout in almost 50 years.

There’s a lot of stats that show how disgusting this was – like the fact that the only two times the Lions had a 14-0 lead this year were their two games against the Packers or how the Packers best running back performance today was 8 carries for 4 yards – but I don’t want to get into all those, let’s just talk about what we learned in this debacle.

DeShone Kizer reminded me of a taller Brett Hundley.

Lots of guys on defense looked like they were playing to not get hurt (and I can’t say I blamed them).

JK Scott warming up to punt on first down was the epitome of this game.

Speaking of the punter, who got action on the first seven drives of the game, the Special Teams continued their year-long display of utter putridness:

  • The Packers first drive ended with a 3 and our from their own 25, just when you need a lively leg to start off a game of field position, you get a 31 yard punt… and it wasn’t even shanked.
  • After getting a stop and forcing the Lions to punt, Tramon Williams did nothing to block a guy that was catching the ball at the 6 – you know how often that happens? Never because it’s ridiculous!
  • They let a kicker throw a touchdown on a fake field goal that would only have worked if the Packers totally and truly didn’t give a f#ck about anything and were totally asleep at the wheel and not even looking at a split end just sitting there laughing while the kicker kept clapping for the ball because even the center couldn’t believe how ridiculous this was – it was a complete and utter embarrassment.
  • Fumbled the kickoff to start the second half because they didn’t fumble the whole first half so they were due.
  • After giving up 24 unanswered points, the defense forced a rare punt in the 4th quarter… so the special teams commandos figured they’d rack up one more illegal block before calling it a season.

Question of the Week

We had a question about how many yards Davante would get since he was chasing a record, but he didn’t even play so… welp? At least he didn’t have any of this stink on his great year.

Other Notes

  • Tony Brown flashed and might be a nice player in the future
  • Ty Lancaster also continued plugging and should have a future here
  • The whole Aaron Rodgers concussion thing seemed a little odd to me… am I a jerk if I say I’m skeptical that he even had one? I’m kind of a jerk anyways, so whatever
  • Oh yeah, special teams sucks and Zook still hasn’t been fired for some reason

Self Grading

Here’s the crap I predicted in the preview column, back when I thought the Packers were gonna play today:

Davante Adams get 134 yards because Rodgers insists on it No, he didnt even play
Jamaal Williams gets another 100 yards combined Uh well, let’s see 8 carries for 4 yards
First play on offense will be a pump and go to Adams Maybe if he was there, instead we went with Jamaal Williams getting stuffed for no gain… which was actually one of his more productive carries of the day

Blake Martinez gets double-digit tackles You’d think with all the plays the Lions ran marching up and down the field that this guy could get more than 6 tackles, but you’d be wrong
An undrafted defensive back picks off Matt Stafford Maybe if someone tried they might have because Matt Stafford ain’t all that
Clay Matthews plays less than half the snaps again and no one notices (again) Who?

Special Teams continues to be an utter embarrassment to the Packers franchise, the game of football, and all of mankind Could I have been more right?

Packers 31, Lions 20 Well if you reverse the teams and multiply the Packers score by zero, I nailed it!

This game sucked. This year sucked. And now it’s over.

Let’s get on to what should be an exciting offseason with lots of hope for 2019.

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