Kaepernick Is Unemployed Because He Sucks!

I’m sick and tired of hearing and reading about Colin Kaepernick and all the nonsense about how he’s unemployed because of his political views or his race or anything else other than the fact that he sucks.

But he went too thuh Sooper Bowl!

So effinh what!? He had the best defense in the league!

I painfully remember when he busted out the read option against the Packers in the 2012 playoffs. The media was so excited to call him the next big thing.

I said it was a gimmick that would take two years to figure out, then he would be nothing.

Guess what?

He was effective for the next two years.

Then what?

In 2015 and 2016, he threw 22 touchdowns with 3,856 yards. That’s over two years! Do you know what his record was over those two years?

3-16 (he’s 4-20 over his last 24 starts)

That’s pathetic.

That’s why no one wants him. He throws for 200 yards and 1 touchdown per game and loses 80% of his games.

No matter how many gimmick offenses come and go, the game still comes back to quarterbacks who can make all the throws and this guy can’t.

He’s got a cannon arm with no touch. He can’t hit end zone fades. He can’t hit post-corners. All the can do is rifle fastballs with no trajectory and hope there’s no underneath defender. If it’s not a clear throwing lane or needs to lead a receiver, it’s a pick – go back and watch his 2012 playoff game against the Packers. Sure, he ran wild on the ground (primarily because Erik Walden has no idea what outside contain means), but he threw a pick 6 on his first series because he couldn’t throw an out route.

He’s not a complete quarterback. He’s Tim Tebow with a tan. Except that Tim Tebow has a winning record for his starting career.

There’s plenty of reasons to not want this guy on your team.

Does anyone wonder “Gee, Kaepernick must want way too much money if he’s still not signed yet.”


Does anyone say “Well, he had surgery on his shoulder, knee, and thumb and that was after he had all those foot and back injuries – I guess no one wants to take a chance on his health”?


What do they say?

Politics. Race.

Seriously, playing the race card? In professional sports!? Come on, professional sports has to be the least racist industry in the nation! No one is playing the race card on Joe Mixon or LaGarrette Blount or Micheal Vick, who all got to keep playing after offenses. That’s because they got to keep playing because they’re good.

Colin Kaepernick is not.

Oh, but if he was white and stood for the national anthem he’d have a job.

Shut up, no he wouldn’t – he’d be Jay Cutler and he’s unemployed, too.

Come on, you mean to tell me that he’s not better than all the backup quarterbacks out there?

Most teams want young, developing guys like Brett Hundley at backup. They don’t want gimmicky has-beens after their gimmick has been figured out. The Bears traded up a nonsense amount to get a rookie quarterback. Now they have Mike Glennon at backup.

You mean to tell me that Mike Glennon is better than Colin Kaepernick?

Well, in the two years before Jameis Winston took over for Mike Glennon (in a move where no one played the race card), Glennon had over 4,000 yards passing and 29 touchdowns with a record of 5-13.

Good? No.

Better than Kaepernick? Yes, he had more yards, touchdowns, and wins in fewer starts.

There you have it, Mike Glennon is better than Colin Kaepernick.

That solves the mystery of why he doesn’t have a job.

Now we can all shut up about it.


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