Let’s Only Sign Free Agents Over 30

Hey, there’s lots of big, big names hitting the waiver wire. If you’ve ever played fantasy football, you should know that big names like that win titles!

Adrian Peterson and Jamaal Charles – 62 years old and 4 major knee surgeries combined? That’s a dream backfield for the ages!

Darrelle Revis and Mario Williams both cut from their over-priced contracts for getting old and loafing? Sounds like just the thing to turn our defense around!

The Saints paid Jarius Byrd $28M to get three interceptions in three years – I’ll bet we could get that kind of value out of him, too!

Bring back Erik Walden, while we’re at it. When guys have career years at age 31, you need to snatch up those late bloomers!

Nick Mangold? Andrew Whitworth? Let’s not re-sign our own players like TJ Lang, let’s go out and get veteran leadership like this!

There’s a stupid rumor going around the internet that older players are more likely to get hurt, but that sounds made up. Besides, it’s not like injuries have ever hurt the Packers.

Free agents win Super Bowls!

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